A wet weekend


It's raining – not proper rain, but wet-stick-to-you-fuzz that gets right through to your pants in about ten seconds flat.

So, the options are; stay put, don't get dressed, binge-listen to the Archers omnibus (yes please, excellent choice – be a love and pop the kettle on) or Kagool-up, empty the toads from the wellies (don't ask, long story, believe me it feels horrid), look the weather in the eye and take on a theme park. Yes you read right. "Are you crazy?" I can almost hear you asking over the kids yelling "Woo Hoo!". And quite possibly, I may be bonkers, but wait, there's a mini method in this madness. Firstly, happy children (for a nano second), and secondly, more water is falling from the sky than is tumbling over the rocks at Niagra which, in my book renders any kind of hair-doing redundant, ditto war paint (in these conditions mascara will be running down my face collecting in my jowls like a five-o'clock shadow). And forget the really uncomfortable but edgily trendy shoes, it's strictly wellie weather – Crocs at a push if you like to feel the water running between your toes. You'd be insane to think skirt/shorts, forget jeans – they just act as a sponge, draining all puddles in a five-mile radius. Persistent drizzle and leggings are best mates, a match made in wet heaven. However big your bum looks, there's a Kagool coming to your rescue!

To be honest, is anyone really going to notice a small gap of pyjama that's slightly exposed between the hem of your Kagool and the top of your waders? No, they're too busy hunkered down under their umbrellas. So on a soggy Sunday, roll out of bed into your waterproofs, fog- up the car and head down to the soft play zone. Grab an overpriced, plastic tasting cappuccino and sit steaming for an hour or two whilst your kids burn off some energy.

You never know by the time you finally get home, you may've burnt off a few stone in your sweat-suit Kagool, and the kids may be so tired you get a cheeky half hour to head Ambridge way.


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© 2017 by Helen Lewis