Boo – scary things that don’t go bump in the night.


I started out writing this determined not to mention the

J-word, but just look at my title. I can’t talk frightening without using the J word because is there anything more scary than an evil Jellyfish? No! Certainly not on planet Lewis. They top my list of terror, especially when you swim into one and it rudely stings you. These critters don’t give second chances, no warning shots, they’re just out to cause trouble.

I digress. Also on my list of terror:

  • Heights. Being more than ten foot off the ground turns me into a jabbering wreck. God invented gravity so that we stay stuck to the dirt, I’m not arguing with the big ‘man’.

  • VAT Returns, enough said, moving quickly on.

  • Birds inside houses, yes that means you stupid swallows, an open window is not an invite to come on in, flutter around and pooh over almost everything.

  • Small children, supermarkets, trantrums, in any order.

  • Speaking in public.

  • Computer error codes.

  • Theme parks in the summer holidays (crowds/queues).

  • Underground escalators (the height thing again).

I’m on a roll, but that’s enough, you get the general picture. And the reason I’m waffling on about all these phobias? It’s that feeling you get after you’ve braced yourself, done the deep breath stuff and faced down that dragon/jellyfish/speech/rollercoaster queue. That buzz, that high, whatever you call it, I think I might be addicted to the sensation.

It makes me feel like this...

Or this

A bit too smiley and way too toothy!

Be scared but do it anyway!’ is a motto I should print not only on my P.E kit (is it still called that these days?) but also my notebook so I remember that feeling when I sit down at my desk to tackle new things – projects like the one I’m trying to start now. I’ve spent months researching, interviewing, transcribing and basically messing about avoiding the first-word-on-the-first-page. I have no idea how to begin, or how to end, I’ve not written anything like this before, I’m strictly a fiction girl with the odd 500 words here and there about life, my life. But time is ticking, people are waiting to read words, so although I’m nervous I’m going to have to get on with it anyway, how bad can it be…?

PS. (When I said ‘Be scared but do it anyway’, I definitely meant scared not terrified, no amount of adrenalin rush is ever going to make me zip-wire anywhere.)

Thank you Pretty Lovely Narberth, for your total support!


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© 2017 by Helen Lewis